Sacrifice of Love
by Hermione Granger Malfoy
Summary: An original twist on a common MWPP romance tale. Read to find out which, and please review.


_Sacrifice of Love_  
**[A/N: Huge twist on common MWPP romance.. hope you enjoy. It might be disturbing to some, so read at your own risk. Please R/R.]**

She was so beautiful.  
Brilliant hair flashing in the sun. He could hear her peals of laughter as she twirled about in the green, green grass, and the spring air that you could taste on your tongue. It hung heavy in his mouth, as the thoughts did in his head. But he knew he'd never have her.  
_What do you do when the only thing you'd ever need -  
You can never have?  
_ He'd never ever told her, because from the beginning she'd been all his. He'd never even had a chance. So he'd learned to hate, to numb, and to encase his once-warm heart into an cold case of icy indifference.  
He sighed and watched her again. Saw her run straight into his arms. His. _Damnit, I should be the one that's holding her,_ he thought angrily, _He doesn't deserve her, doesn't need her, doesn't love her.. like I do._ They started to kiss.  
He had to look away.  
_**First day of Hogwarts. He went into King's Cross when all of a sudden, he saw her. He'd stood for a couple of moments, gaping. She was having trouble with her trunk, and he started towards her to help, when all of a sudden a flash of black beat him to it. And he'd stood there, alone, watching forlornly as they struck up a friendship. From that moment on, he knew he'd lost.**  
_ The years and months and days passed. He formed a friendship with him, in order to see what exactly it was about him that she loved so much. But he could find nothing superbly extraodinary about his personality. It was basically the standard House character. Nor was he especially handsome. _What is it about him that I don't have, what do I lack? Why, why won't she look at me?  
_ The summer before seventh year came. He was elected Head Boy, and he learned that she was elected Head Girl. A few days before the embarkment to King's Cross, his friend, or rather, her boyfriend, came over to visit.  
Their conversation somehow invariably turned to her. It was rather awkward, until he [her boyfriend] said:  
"You love her, don't you?"  
_And the world spins in front of you, one last time  
Before it closes the door forever to the treasure you wished you had._  
"... I..."  
"It's okay." He paced around the room for a moment. "Listen, do you want her?"  
"I.. what?"  
"I'm not blind, you know. I've been observing you for a while, and I knew about it. I've also been watching her, and-" he swallowed. "You saved my life. I owe you.. and I've been thinking about it lately. You know how I don't like to be in debt. Since I can't repay you with my own, or another, I'm giving you the most precious thing I have.  
"You know I'm good at Charms. And recently, I read about one, where you can alter time without actually having to go in there and do it yourself. It's sort of like the Time Turner, but easier. So what I'm saying is -" he choked "- you- I- I'll do it if you want. I can change it so I never approached her, arrange so that it was you who she loved. I'm not going to induce her love on you, but I'm fairly certain that if it hadn't been me it would have been you. So.. if you want to give it a try, I'm perfectly-" here he emmitted a strange noise, almost like a sob "-_perfectly_ willing to, too."  
_And all of a sudden what you've always longed for has been offered to you.  
But what price do you have to pay?  
_"Sirius.. I can't. She's yours. It's how it turned out to be, how it should be, you know it. I can't take her from you. If it's you who she loved, in this unaltered time, then that's how it should be. And she's also a person, too. If you want to change her emotions, you should ask first, she's not an object, she-"  
"See? That's what I mean. You're so much more perfect for her than I am, you think of that, you-" but he could tell his friend was lying.  
"_Sirius._" Inside, his heart was breaking.  
"James," he breathed, "I have to do this. I'll kill myself if I don't. Do you want to know something? In reality, I didn't get to her first. Do you know who did? You. In the period when she was deciding between us, I went back and changed time, so she never saw you until later. James, I can't love her knowing what I've done, anymore, or I'll die. I can't marry her, have her bear my children. I can't give her the life she needs. I'm fickle. I've been tempted too many times while I was with her. If she finds out, her heart'll break. Though I've been unfaithful, I still love her. And I want what's best for her." Sirius turned to face James.  
"You.  
"So take my gift without any guilt or wonderings. I'm not giving you a choice. You- you-" he closed his eyes, as if it was painful to continue, which James was sure it was. "_have_ to. You just do."  
James stood there, filled with pity, anger, and horror, with a sliver of excitement and happiness. "Sirius.."  
"James."  
James swallowed. "Alright then. When?"  
Sirius smiled wanly. "It's already been done."  
"Then why don't I remember anything?"  
"You will."  
And then, all of a sudden, memories hit him. Recollections of picnics by the lake, hot, passion-filled moments in his dorm, dances attended together, half-whispered oaths of eternal love in the dark._Lily._  
"I will be the only one who will remember both lives. I'm sorry about your memory, James, but it's the way it has to be," Sirius whispered painfully, just as James started to say, "Wait, when did I -"  
A moment passed. Then James shook his head, and stared at Sirius. Sirius held his breath. Had the spell failed? After so many months of study, calculations, and emotional pain..  
James opened his mouth and said:  
"So Sirius, how about being best man?"  
Sirius' eyes filled up with tears. "Yes, sure, of course! Did you even have to ask?"  
James smiled. He clapped a hand on Sirius' back. "Thanks a lot. I don't know who we would've asked if you'd said no."  
Sirius breathed in heavily. "Yea. Well, I've got to return home now. Owl me later about the details, okay?"  
"Yea, sure," James said, as Sirius flew away.  
_And then the world comes crashing down  
But you drowned in your tears and you can die  
Guiltless with no fears  
_ In his own house, Sirius sat down on his bed and stared at a photograph of him and Lily, the only thing left from his "former life" except for his memories. The lie had work. The months of rehearsing had finally paid off, and the nobility and morality in James' heart would be satisfied. Sirius knew he'd done the right thing, but..  
The house was left silent except for quiet sobbing and the bitter sense of nostalgia. 


End file.
